Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
Dude, at this rate we're going to get arrested a second time tonight.
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
And then I saw the naval officer and gave up that whole new leaf thing
ummm i just drove by ur house and ur passed out on the porch. please call me when u get this
Is it bad if one of my goals right now is to snort blow through a licorice?
Don't answer that. It is bad.
Just walked into the bar to find a guy in a Boba Fett helmet leaning casually against the wall, texting. This night just got real.
It's a toss up. They'll either laugh and watch you drunkenly fuck on the beach or they'll throw you deep in Mexican jail.
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
Dude! I just figured out I can successfully hide a 4oz flask between my boobs without endangering my cleavage! College: conquered!
You're not drunk til you wake your roommates up screaming at your ceiling fan
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
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