i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
I'm making celebratory pizza rolls. They're a lot like regular pizza rolls, but without the taste of shame.
walk of shame this morning involved walking through the in-home daycare that she runs while it was full of kids. judgemental little shits. on a plus, got a juice box and a graham cracker for the walk home.
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
Trying to ignore the fact that a kid I hooked up with twice just gave me spare keys to his house ... and car.
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
I am eating a king sized snickers in the strip club. Good morning.
What is more embarrassing, shitting yourself in Mexico or having sex in a forest preserve with a 19 yr old? This is crucial research.
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
Someone should walk up to them and say, "We're sorry, you're too hot to be out here with the other humans."
Randomize
