just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
i just sold a bong and some oregano to fifth graders for sixty dollars. doing something tonight?
just had to re-breakup with her. it was like shooting a dead horse that was crying and talking.
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
i'm glad we've gotten to the point in our relationship where I can eat peach rings off your penis.
I went to the gas station and the lady goes I remember you. Broken sunglasses and puke on your car.
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
He literally said to me "go ahead and answer that text message while I eat you out"... Maybe I AM the relationship type...
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
Look bro I'll go half per boob with you, we split her.
I'm running on 2 hours of sleep. Just spent 6 minutes staring at the back of my hand thinking: "I don't really know this that well"
I'M SORRY THIS WAS SEXTING AND I MADE IT SERIOUS.
I just sent a dick pic to a number on Craigslist, this may be my new low
He ate me out while watching Fifty Shades of Grey---needless to say I'm locking this down
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
Randomize
