from now on my penis is your penis
If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
i told him my stretch marks were scars from a jellyfish sting........he totally bought it
This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.
The tornado sirens were going off and everyone just ran to the liquor store. .
The manager of the bar we were at the night before came to my house today giving me coupons. Apperently you and i won karaoke night which is a prize of 300 beer dollars. No idea what beer dollars means nor do i have any memory of doing karaoke but lets go back tonight.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
I just did a sobriety test in a tutu.
Took me 12 hours to be sober again. Shitshow mission accomplished
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
How weird would it be to ask your bro to 3d print your dick for me
Is there a subtle way to tell him he needs to hydrate? 8 years of yoga and kegels. He has no idea what I’m going to do to him this weekend
Randomize
