I like how you refer to peeing in the car as "super cute"
FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
I gave her a mint afterward. It felt like giving turndown service at Hotel BJ.
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
Cracked my iPhone screen. Real bad. Girl from last night isn't ugly yet. Stop me if you still think she belongs under a bridge. You have 12 seconds.
I'm mad at him and disappointed with you. It's like I put a bunch of effort into a PowerPoint of "what not to do with Zach" to show you and the first bullet point was "do not love him" and you're just disregarding all my effort and friendship.
I have to make mistakes myself to learn from them
FUCK YOU I AM MAKING A POWERPOINT
He could stay over, if you'd just ask.
Yeah. What am I supposed to say? "Oh, my couch is occupied, but my vagina's not"
They forgot my ranch. They're dead to me.
I invited him to my hotel room via snapchat. I'm one hell of a classy bitch
mcfuck me up
MCFUCK ME UP INSIDE
You fell out of his top bunk onto his set of golf clubs. After seeing blood on your leg, you proceeded to sing "the first cut is the deepest" while sprawled on the golf clubs
kind of bad when u call a cop an asshole for driving you home from the bar
Randomize
