Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
Boy did I ever crash and burn on the pickled egg pick up line.
I puked on myself in front of a customer. all. over. myself. thanks Saturday nights
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
The guy I hooked up with last night left me alone with his dog AND IT JUST SHIT ON THE FLOOR. WHAT DO I DO
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
Unintionally got shitfaced at study group this week. The waitress brought out a fishbowl of long Island iced tea. Challenge accepted.
TELL HER ABOUT THE GODDAMNED MOTHERFUCKING POTATOES
See that doesn't work because we've had sex so its awkward for you to call me mom
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