Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
was it me or did you scream 'champagne motherfucker' when you punched him in the face ??
You don't have a wife, you don't have a dog, and you need a new bong. Don't make this any worse than that.
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
Wall of shame with a backpack full of beer bottles, cowboy hat in hand, and a handlebar mustache. I was applauded by a passing car
Went home with a dude from UF last night. Just dripped chicken onto my phone and then licked it off. Going to pick up a bridesmaid dress. Mid 20s in a nutshell.
And then I realized my chick friends consist only of sober you, drunk you and hungover you
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
Did I fall last night?
I wouldn't call it falling as much as you tried to lay on the sidewalk and proceeded to hit it face first.
i need you to come over and tell me if you can notice that i'm only wearing a teddy underneath my trenchcoat
Do you remember seeing anyone put a "my other penis is a vagina" bumper sticker on my car?
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
Trying to decide if I'm relieved or disappointed that I didn't receive any fuck boi calls on nye
Randomize
