I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
so he let me use one of the toothbrushes that came in his daughters 4 pack, purple glittery toddler toothbrush, the next time i came back his wife has used their label maker and put my name on it...
I am sitting on my kitchen floor drunk with a bottle of jose cuervo, tryin to make cinnamon rolls and write a paper. I love college
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
What's the point of being healthy if people still don't want to fuck you?
What's the wine called that we really like and we usually drink it with xanax?
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
matt and i tucked you in... you REFUSED to move your head from under the bed.
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
im drinking tequila tonight so will you babysit my bra?
New definition for "rock bottom": Waking up in a puddle of your own puke, missing your fake tooth. Then having to dig through said puddle of puke for aforementioned fake tooth. Think it's time I quit partying so hard.
Is this your way of breaking up with me as my wingman?
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
Give me an out of order sign and caution tape and we can have sex practically anywhere.
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
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