8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
The whiskey is fighting the tequila on who wants to be the one who end my night first.
Oh god I think I promised some guy from high school that I'd be his fuck buddy in like 3 months
who knew i was capable of sobriety and human-like emotions all in the same night?
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
alicia just called me and talked to me in "the eternal language of the dinosaurs" and then kind of roared and gurgled. what kind of 4th of july are you guys having?
the boozy kind. is there any other?
I am no longer drunk enough to crave tostitos
I'm literally 40 minutes from where I was supposed to stay. I woke up in a parking lot.
First thing I find in the car I just pick up from my grandpa? A discount card for the strip club down the road from his apartment. The force is still strong.
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
Holy fuck, my entire boob is bruised! Lierally my boob is just one big bruise.
Randomize