You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
I woke up this morning under my fitted sheet and my legs through the sleeves of my sweater.
Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
you went through ur friends list and posted an obscene comment on every ultrasound pic...."not his" "looks like a sea monkey"
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
picked up a girl by parallel parking. i love this town already.
Tried to eat a chip. Mouth wouldn't cooperate. Nearly died. Wow I've missed this.
She started crying and told me to leave half way through, I'm walking down main with a bottle of patron and a sweatpants boner.
this better not be you asking for a beej
So in the middle of making out, he decided to give me a breast exam. God I love dating a doctor. He saved me a $20 copay.
We knew we were dealing with a pro when some random guy at the bar thew you over his shoulder and you still didn't spill your drink
Strangely enough, that's not the first time that's happened
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
we're so committed to being not committed
He has a penis. Therefore, he counts.
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