He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
He grabbed every salt shaker in the apartment and we haven't seen him since. He really really doesn't want to shovel snow anymore.
I had to write an apology letter to security guards in the hotel so I didnt get kicked out
There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
i watched you ride a mechanical penis. nothing is awkward between us anymore.
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
Life is too short to have fake orgasms.
Sorry blacked out and lost my phone. Judging by the looks of my body I fought a cat and fell into a bush.
When I die I just want my headstone to my name, date of birth-death, and TEQUILA!!
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
Right now I'm drinking out of a gallon water jug & eating a baconator. If you're feeling down, just remember you could be me.
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
Unexpected pro of the hostel though: literally down the street from Coors Field. I could literally fart on the building in five minutes.
Randomize
