Awesome, the library of congress archived all tweets. Now my great great grandchildren can pinpoint the date they inherited alcoholism.
The cop refused to sing with us, even though he was as happy as we were that the tow truck finally showed up.
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
you dont understand this isnt a sit at a sports bar eating wings and having a beer night. this is a show up to the bar with a fith of Jack and just let what happens happen kinda night. im expecting to smack a bouncer
Ok let me change into clothes i can run in
I could only remember yelling "rip it down" as he ninja jumped off the bed, kicked the wall, and superman punched the fire alarm off the ceiling.
I've always wondered why you never put the hotel room in your name...
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
I'm having salsa con queso and a leftover half-drank/flat red bull for breakfast. Nothing you propose doing today would be a downgrade.
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
I just wrote a love letter to my weed and texted it to my cousin. I can't say it any differently. It happened.
Fuck it, if you can't drink cheep beer and whiskey with me, I don't want you.
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
I'm not sure what happened last night but my dog has a red cup taped to his back with a little beer and a ping pong ball in it..
We invented a new game.
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
Randomize
