and thats when i went through the window and a shard of glass got stuck in my ass. the doctor said it was the best injury hed seen all month. i am a champion of life.
i feel sorry for the hotel staff that makes the bed after we have sex
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
I just ran into the married chick you banged 2 years ago at our apt! She asked me if I could get her coke! Memories bro. Memories
I swear god is testing me by giving me awesome guys with tiny penises
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
but seriously, if you see a redhead running down the street tonight in a carrot costume, call 911. He's tripping hard.
Even if they did assume we were doing kinky shit, it's not like they're gonna be like, "HALT SATAN! INTAKE SOME JESUS AND VOMIT YOUR SINS!"
Ok, you agree to the terms? We can have sex, but this doesn't mean we're back together...it just means we're working on things. Got it? Sign here.
Randomize
