In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
There was a pool of blood on my desk and we still don't know who it belongs to. missed a good party, man.
she looks like stephen colbert with that blond wig he was wearing last night.
she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
She insisted on fucking on the futon mattress on the floor, answered the phone call from her boyfriend who was on his way to pick her up, and then had the audacity to ask if I was clean
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
Did you hear about Miss Teen Delaware? From the snippet they played on the radio, I knew exactly what porn company it was from. Maybe I should cut back
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
Please remind me tomorrow that I ate a loaf of jimmy johns bread on the toilet 5 mins ago
Dude, she set my Tinder preference to men, set the radius to 100 miles, and used up all of my right swipes. I think she's mad.
Guy just walked in with a 40 and a Honda steering wheel. Where the fuck am I?
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
Randomize
