doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
tequila makes me forget i have legs
So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
It's my first ever "i'm sorry for my excessive drug use" hand turkey. And I think it's pretty boss.
Pretty sure the girl next to me in Chipotle just came out to her mom.
She has a tattoo on her inner thigh that's an x with a long dotted line. So after she passed out I signed it. Dunno what else I was supposed to do...
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
I told you you to bring something to share....you brought tequila and a condom
So apparently I initiate sex in my sleep
Like how hard is it to come up to me with chocolate and wine and say "hey, you're beautiful. Wanna marathon Doctor Who in sweatpants?" Hell yes!
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