New low: just hacked my moms facebook
When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
if that dog is afraid of alcohol then he's no dog of mine
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
Just for future reference, me asking if you're free, followed by a winking face is not my way of suggesting a tandem bike ride.
She told me she's dating him because his apartment is a block from Taco Bell. I don't know how she's not fat.
my mom snuck into my room, washed her clothes and made her breakfast. what the fuck she's a better boyfriend than I am
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
Now i know i wasnt that drunk... So why are there texts of me volunteering for a nude photo shoot for an art major student?
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
Randomize
