Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life.
Last night he was fingering me with one hand to his ear, calling himself 'dj clittles'
Thats what happens when go home with guys that wear shutter shades to the bar..
We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
awkward like he asked me out for a "rest of the summer make out buddy" thing and I kind of had a female testicle retreat moment
we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
That's okay, during storytime I would have to sit on my hands so I wouldn't touch everyone. Explains a lot...
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
I'm not driving across town for three thrusts and an excuse
Pretty sure I picked a cat up off the street and took him home with me, fed him tuna, then let him go
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
Nana saw my nipple rings & made me watch Joel Osteen all morning
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
I’ll call you later. There’s a jilted trophy wife looking for a revenge fuck at my door
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