too bad you live with your parents still
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
i'm high and 74% sure there's a monster in my closet
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
On the bright side, I hit her with the door on the way in
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
Whenever you get off. By "pick me up from work" I mean, "pick me up from a bar by work at your earliest convenience" :)
I hate waking up Sunday morning and thinks "how many friends did I lose last night".... Normally it's between 1-5.
Dude you filled up a protein shake mixer with White Russians so you didn't have to keep coming upstairs.
Guess who just bought an ounce of pot via Paypal, and paid for it with my airline Visa card to earn miles?
Congratulations. That business degree is finally worth every penny it cost you.
He's got the most well kempt beard I've ever seen and I need it between my thighs is basically what I'm saying
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
Of course he’s dumb. He’s got a 9 inch dick! There’s not enough blood in his body for a big dick and a big brain. It’s science
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