I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
I just watched a guy get turned down by a prostitute
just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
I've decided the third guy that I slept with is who I lost my virginity to...
I feel like I should lick our pitcher just so everyone knows its ours
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
Oh, fuck yeah. I swear I came with every bite. Not even joking. Messiest meal ever.
Wow, thanks for ruining pizza for me. I didn't think it was possible.
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
There is a check pinned to the wall at Connor's. It's a check I wrote for $1,000,000... To you. Clearly you made out well on St. Patrick's day. Thanks for being too shitfaced to remember to grab that.
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
Ate 3 ghost peppers and chased them with Everclear last night. Currently on the toilet cursing the universe and everyone in it.
I'm getting drunk off Malibu and watching Drag Race and it's only 2 in the afternoon. I'm the poster child for sad gay men.
Randomize
