THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
Hurry up. We're trading phones to prevent drunk texting.
The beers last night were like the tears from god
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
My gynecologist got a full view of the obviously bite marked shaped bruises on my thighs. I just kept talking about work and hoped she wouldn't judge me.
I was hooking up with this girl last night and she's on top of me with "Flux Pavilion - I can't stop" grinding in the background and I thought "Holy shit I'm going to do a lot of Molly this semester."
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
HE FINALLY TEXT ME AND CALLED ME BY MY TWITTER NAME STAND BY FOR THE WEDDING INVITE, BRIDESMAID
My body hates me. Pretty sure I drank 3 pitches full of coffee last night and took two adderal. I slept and ran a marathon at the same time. You should see my bed.
I used an emoji to tell him I was pregnant. I should feel bad about that, right?
I'm honestly just saving all my liver's power for when I die this weekend. that's how it works right
It's days like today that make me happy I'm not a porn star.
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