So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
Elton John & Lady Gaga just did a duet on the Grammies. How appropriate. He likes cock & she happens to have one.
There are some college kids out at 4 in the morning dragging each other on a sled behind a bike. its too entertaining to call the cops
I could literally track my booty calls if I ever got knocked up by my parking tickets
Its weird to pet your cat with a boner
What the fuck?
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
They're like penises that have been put in a blender.
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
he drunk texted me to give me his number with the message "i gotchu pretty eyeso" i can't tell if he's complimenting me or himself.
Like, actually questioning if you ate dog shit last night
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
Turns out floaties are a great thing after a couple bottles of vodka
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
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