A homeless man in dtwn SF was blasting lil wayne and singing at the top of his lungs. I kinda wanted to give him my life savings
Who wears a wallet chain?!
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
There's a guy at this party taking all the unfinised beers and pouring them into a pitcher so he can drink them tomorrow.
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
we're almost there. Shes pounding on the car window telling the nurse whos on a smoke break to fuck off.
Did you shave a certain someone in his sleep last night?
Goddamn you thin people LEAVE FOOD FOR THE BIGGER DRUNKARDS WHO NEED IT
Had a crazy moment last night. Had to get up, run to bathroom, pop 3 Xanax, sit on bathroom floor and rock myself in fetal position. Not my best moment.
I need to you to send me drugs via FedEx
i just want to die with dignity and clean teeth, is that too much to ask?
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
In the past year, I've fucked 3 Dave's and you've fucked 2 Dave's. That's a lot of Dave's in our vaginas.
We need to start a soap opera called the Dave's of Our Lives.
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
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