ya know if you hadnt broke up with me, that porno we made wouldnt have a 3.3 rating on youporn right now...
And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
we were both as far on opposite edges of my bed as possible this morning. id say work is gonna be a little uncomfortable from now on
The bouncer at this strip club is my new best friend. He is also very persuasive. He got me to strip onstage for a t shirt. It's a nice shirt.
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
You in for a dick vacation?
YES, even though I have no idea what that means
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
I'm literally beginning to think that my sex dreams are prophesies
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
Randomize
