idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
remind me not to puke in the mesh trash can tonight
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
Yeah, I think they knew. I smelled like that telltale combination of strippers and Easter.
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
I'm on this new diet called "I have 10$ till next Friday, I have rice
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
I was on top for a full on make out when in dead silence "I'm moaning Myrtle" came from the TV. Moment ruined. I got cock blocked by a fictional ghost
He just stopped in the middle of undressing for sex to dip his slice of pizza in ranch. I think I’m in love.
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
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