Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
He's playing farmville on his phone while puking over the toilet..
I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
You can't break up with me and ask me for a handjob on the same day. At least not in that order.
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
I'm not a home wrecker but if one more married man with a yacht asks me to go scuba diving I'm NOT saying no
we're going to the olympic park to run the 100m yeaaaahhh
it's 3am. Nothing could possibly go wrong here.
I watched you fall asleep, sitting up, eating a cinnamon roll. You proceeded to wake up...smile at your cinnamon roll, ask it how it got into your hand and then began eating it again. You asked me if you were ridiculous last night, define ridiculous.
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
You know you've been on Tinder too long when you're the guy cropped out of the profile pic. Of a woman you're still seeing...
Randomize
