I drunkenly recorded an episode of Family Matters last night. I took a shot everytime Carl Winslow had a mustache.
sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
She was wearing a shirt that said "Just Do Me", holding a half of a bottle of Vodka, and was screaming at her friends "PUSSY JUST SWALLOW!" before she chugged the rest of the bottle.
Dude, if you don't take her, I will.
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
My Instagram consists mostly of drag queens and people who dress up as power rangers... I'm pretty sure I'm an unclassified category of gay
So many Oreos I'm regretting this decision already but I'm happy at the same time...The straddle is real
Struggle. Not straddle. I'm not straddling anyone.
Well, I can mark "throwing up in a daycare bathroom due to a hangover" off my bucket list.
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
The only downside to doctor sex is that getting choked with a stethoscope leaves marks.
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
Would you laugh at me if I told you I think I burned my nipples?
Only in this town do you have a bridesmaid shortage due to pregnancies.
Randomize
