sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
No mixer. Vodka in yogurt?
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
Will you judge me if i do shots in my basement closet first? No? Okay good
I'm sure you can think of a way to make money.. God didn't give you boobs that awesome to waste them feeding your children..
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on
I made him fuck me with my coat zipped up and a unicorn mask on. That level of drunk sex. Weird and creepy yet highly satisfying.
I'm sorry I never said I wasn't coming home last night. To my defense I did type and send a text, only I was too drunk to realize I sent it to the guy I was with instead of you.
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
It's 2017. Get with the program. Also remind me never to get margaritas with you ever on Cinco de Mayo.
That butt dial turned into a booty call.
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
Randomize
