you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
College is a time for personal growth. Meaning it's time to start using those pickup lines on randos at dive bars.
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
VOOOODKA VOOODKA WE PLEDGE OUR LOVE TO THEEEE VODKAAAA VODKAAAA SAVIOR OF LIBERTYYYY
Apparently when the cops arrived I was standing over him in the bathroom yelling, get the fuck up you piece of shit. Beer still in hand.
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
I didn't want dick. I wanted spaghetti.
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
Randomize
