he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?
They only remember me when they're drunk...I'm like a suppressed memory.
there is a baby dancing on the table amidst the smoke of multiple cigarettes. i want to trade lives with that baby.
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
We're sitting in his room writing songs about America. There's a verse about a dead dog. There's tequila everywhere.
Grandpa got a dui while riding a horse. This is what I need to live up to.
First night sober since New Years. I'm not sure what hurts more, the hangover or the credit dread when I find out what the tickets to Bali actually cost.
Turns out he has a 6pack too. Alright adorable snapchatting manwhore dude, you win.
I just lifted up my shirt to scratch my stomach n a Dorito flew out of my pullover n it legit scared me when it hit me.
At one point I yelled "THIS IS MY PENANCE FOR EVERYTHING I'VE DONE WRONG" and started saying Hail Marys
Straight up last night my mom was like josh you need to find a job that doesn't include the selling or transporting of drugs
There are leaves in my underwear?
If I'm not naked in the back of a cop car having sex by the end of the night, I did something wrong..
Her hot older sister walked in on us, looked me up and down, then stared straight at her and said "I call sloppy seconds on this one" then left. I'm still debating on how I feel about that.
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