I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
You said I was the most beatiful preggers youve ever seen...im not pregnant
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
Just realized I have to keep sleeping with him... those scars from drunk sex on the 4th of July are still on my back and lord knows I'm not about to explain that to another guy.
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
He knows my period schedule but not my work schedule.
I feel like jumping into a breast pit right now. Like the old school ball pits at mcdonalds.
Is it bad that all my wine bottles have teeth marks in the cork?
Ok so you know that's gonna be legally viewed as kidnapping, right?
It takes a special kind of man to fart REALLY loudly right before entering a woman and still get some. This has been a state of bootytown address.
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
It wasn't until I lost my earring that I realized "I've been here before". Turns out we fucked a year ago. We've decided to make it a tradition.
She was a cheerleader in college and President of her sorority and now she’s a sales rep for a pharmaceutical corporation. “High maintenance hot” doesn’t even begin to explain it
But dear lord is it worth it
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