whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
i just heard her through the wall saying "not on my face! NOT on my face!" then a scream and "I SAID NOT ON MY FACE!!!"...nice work dude.
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
Out of all the things I've put my penis in, this seems the most unfortunate.
I'll be a little late, "getting ready for the party" turned into "smoking a bowl and doing lines in my room for an hour and a half." But I'm on my way now. With coke. And weed.
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
Oh nbd. She just had sex with a divorcee. On a charter bus. At 10 a.m. On a Thursday.
the repo guy said it was the first time he'd ever started to repo a car with someone fucking inside of it. he might have said 'doing it' instead.
As an added realisation of today. If we used the last time I got laid as a conceiving date I would have a two week old baby. It's been too long...
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
I got about 15 snapchats from you with your hand saying "you want cheese sticks" or something like that and one of some weird looking weed
new dating motto: let your guard down, not your panties
Now I’m honestly wondering if I took this kids virginity
Stop letting me drink while doing my makeup. I think I used sharpie for eyeliner.
Randomize
