addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
i pretty much saved your life. you were so conviced that your nail polish remover bottle was "Vodka Lemon"
Found a barbie with nipples. Life is complete.
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
And one night I got way too drunk and thought he said call me a polish name so I called him Konrad. Now he thinks I cheated on him with a Konrad.
That's my new pick up line call me a polish name
She could makes a perfectt roast dinner drunk but she nearly sets the kitchen alight microwaving popcorn.
I feel like there should be a 'roommate information section' of the paperwork when there's a chance you'll be given pain killers.
Out of ten? A seven. You pulled your shorts down to your ankles, jumped into the pool and announced you were a merman.
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
Nothing ruins an orgasm faster than accidentally calling out his boss's name
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
I quit doing blow for him. If that doesn’t say “I’m in love with you and want to marry you” idk what does
Randomize
