You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
dude wtf did we explode in my microwave last night?
idk but i think it had a face
Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
Last night you tried to pee on my bed...in the hallway...your room...and the showers. When I finally got you on the toilet you passed out.
I cant prove it..but im almost positive that you were just outside my window watching me while eating out of a bag of Cheetos...
when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face
Just got a handjob from a 19 year old in front of the Parthenon. The Greek god of debauchery would be proud.
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
I forgot what I was gonna say, but I'm pretty excited to not be pregnant.
All I recall is being at the strip club doing dark rum shots and then puking a question mark on the wall above the garbage can in the men's room and having diarrhea in the sink. 6th drunkest I've ever been without blacking out.
Randomize
