i'm officially boycotting relationships. hello random hook ups and treating men like meat.
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
RA chick in a Christmas onsie chased us up 5 flights of stairs. I need to stop violating guest policy
He was spooning with the dog when I came home. Now shes afriad to go near him. Should I ask?
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
I just had to explain to a 5 year old why I had fuzzy handcuffs hidden in a macaroni box under my bed.
I used an emoji to tell him I was pregnant. I should feel bad about that, right?
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
I made a booty call at 3:30 am on a Monday... I think I just became the ultimate female fuckboy. I don't know whether to be ashamed or get myself a trophy.
Be quiet or buzz aldrin will come beat you up with science
It's time you knew: I have been dating your probation officer for 7 months. Pretty certain he's THE ONE. So, thanks for being a criminal.
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
I am coming home with the worst sun burn of my life, two unused condoms, and an unworn slutty dress. Worst. Bachelorette. Party. Ever.
Randomize
