matt is drinking blue powerade and it looks like he has hypothermia. i can't take this kid anywhere.
I just farted for five sidewalk sections! New personal best.
I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
Dude just slipped a $20 into the jukebox at that restaurant we were escorted out of last Mardi GRAS. Hope they enjoy Justin Bieber's Baby cause they're gonna hear it 40 fucking times.
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
Remind me to call McDonald's to give a good review of Ruth. She truly demonstrated grace under pressure.
Apparently, "please don't I have to be in court tomorrow" is not a valid excuse for a girl to abstain from giving a massive hickey.
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
I poured somre cereal, realized the chocolate to flake ratio was off, tried to fix it by digging through the box, gave up because of the difficulty level, and poured it back in the box. Being high is the best diet.
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
Randomize
