I have a new reason to go to work: I can tell which 3 of my coworkers are sisters just by looking at their butts.
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
Tell your friends I said hi and that if they touch your penis I'll cut off their hands.
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
I am a 5'4" ball of sexual frustration and vodka. It is that kind of night.
This lady gave me four cups to go along with my gallon of daiquiri. Silly girl, all I need is a straw.
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
Pretty sure we're going to get a cease & desist notice from the Make A Wish Foundation, but until then...
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
Nothing is more confusing than dreaming about being chased by jets, then waking up with an erection.
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
I woke up and there was a huge blow up palm tree in my bed...
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