ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
Tequila shots with cinnamon and orange write it down before I forget
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
I can't tell which way is up. Too many corners around his house too. An arbitary assimilation of edges.
Christ, I swear you are the high man's Dr. Seuss.
I learned something last night. Strippers can be on house arrest?
I'm pricing out a roll of that wax butcher paper. We fuck too messy and I can't afford to wash them every afternoon.
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
He said I act like a cross between a kindergartener and a high 70 year old man. Which is inacurate because it fails to account for the disco obsession.
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
I need to wash the frat house off of me
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
So vagazzling was a success
A dozen fresh-baked cookies delivered to my dorm AND I don't have chlamydia or gonorrhea... Could this night get any better??
Somebody put William Shatner singing Bohemian Rhapsody on the jukebox, and the whole bar is about to riot.
Randomize
