It's like a parade of train wrecks.
Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
May or may not have just drunkenly opened my christmas presents. Greatly disappointed. Might break up sooner.
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
She said, "I don't really go out much, but my husband recently cheated on me" and I don't remember anything after that.
That penis you're staring at is the penis of heartbreak. Stay away. It will break your heart AND keep you away from other penises. BACK. OFF. THE PENIS.
he tried breathing fire using moonshine and a roman candle. would not have believed it unless i actually witnessed it.
He threw me a bud light and when I opened it he smacked it out of my hand because "Dave giveth, and Dave taketh away". WTF
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
You asked me to text you at 11 and remind you that he's 33. It's 11:20. He's 33.
you're too late. he has eggnog and whiskey and all seven seasons of buffy. I shan't be coming home tonight
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
I don't care if we're married you can't just walk into the bedroom with a pizza box expecting to get laid
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
Randomize
