i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
If the cops knock on your door and ask if you saw anyone throw an orange out the window I was never there.
Remember those girls from the bar? The tall and short blondes?
Is this a story I am going to hate you for?
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
I just bought us acid. I'm like the drug tooth fairy. Get ready to wake up with a sweattart of acid under your pillow.
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
I just tried to pay for a coffee with a dollar and a necco wafer.
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
Dude, you fell into a tree, and both of the tables, AND the window well... Resilient aren't you?
Idk I just think that seeing that man's Twitter always resulting in me looking for the whiskey is a bad sign
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