i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
Okay. But I hope it isn't expensive lingerie. Because I'm ripping it off Hulk Hogan style.
Hahaha my philosophy professor just opened class with "I had a shitty weekend and I was at the bar until 815 this morning. So bear with me".
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
I may or may not vaguely recall punching you in the dick but it was a misunderstanding and I forgive you can we have make up sex?
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
So many questions so I’ll prioritize. How did I survive last night?
he's drunk and referred to his shoes as foot condoms
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
Randomize
