Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
you dont want to live with me, im always naked, a chronic masturbator, a bit of a voyeur and will likely touch you while you sleep. ps- i can pick locks
I had a terrible day! The only thing that makes me feel better is knowing Jack Bauers day was worse.
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
They're like penises that have been put in a blender.
He doesn't fuck you and he's married, why do you keep letting him cum all over your stomach?
In the hopes he'll just put it in one day?
Tostitos Scoops as shot glasses. Eat for chaser.
Rubbed one out while on hold to buy tickets to Disneyland. Feel simultaneously like a freak and strangely productive.
I may have just serenaded the sadface couple sitting on a bench outside the dorm by singing Bye Bye Bye.
One reason I feel like garbage: Kraft single wine shots
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
Could have been worst, could have seen me bent over biting her carpet while her son was inside me, i think i would have respnded with "i was just trying to be quiet"
My parents woke me up at noon to tell me my maid had found my clothes strewn all over the neighborhood
I told you I missed you and you said you missed me as much as you miss a urinary tract infection. I get it. You're still mad.
The smell of pee and coconut conditioner still makes me think of him
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