Britney fell asleep on the couch in the foier, got up stripped then pissed on the floor. Then got dressed and went to sleep in it. Also downstairs toilet clogged. Not me. I will be gone by the time you get home from work. Have fun.
I love hooters. This dumb bartender is saying how coffee dehydrates you so that's why she sometimes just eats the coffee grinds wake up.
i celebrated the independence of our country by dry heaving tequila all morning. so classy. happy 4th.
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
So I passed out with my boxers on in the hotel jacuzzi at 5am.. The manager who kicked me out was pretty cute so I left my name and number for her at the front desk. I'm giving it a 50/50 she calls.
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
Did not foresee holding down food at work today to be a struggle today
Someone has big plans this weekend. Just went to throw away the trash and saw packaging for 3 different vibrators on the top of the stack
That's how all the girlfriends are. Oh he's a boy, no worries, then BAM. I blow their boyfriend.
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
You know you've found a good drug dealer when he's willing to overnight mail to you in another state...
Ahhh, the bane of our relationship.... His mediocre penis
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