i permit you to call me
So the D.A.R.E. essay I helped my tutor kid write won an award. Oh the irony.
Youll never guess who has to go to fucking planned parenthood because trojan cant make a fucking condom
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
I turned down free cocaine. I both respect and regret and that decision.
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
Im not coming back to that place until im drunk. If I walk in there sober Ill start screaming uncontrollably. Not words, just sounds.
Weird come down, just saw a woman on the train go to grab something and realised she had terrifying hands. They literally filled me with dread. I don't think I'm ok.
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
First date was awkward. I think I just saw someone die.
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
Now I’m honestly wondering if I took this kids virginity
I just tried to snap you a picture of the CVS where we decided not to become parents.
Randomize
