dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
Every morning i wake up and check his twitter like a horoscope
The bartender laughed but the manager kicked me out when the mom conplained. There's no way my fart harmed that baby in any way
Im pretty sure he just said he wants to make a baby with me, but he's pretty shitfaced, so I'm not sure if he knows who I am.
Walk-of-shaming home in that dress you got arrested in. Six guys called out your name when I walked past. I've never been more proud of us.
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
It's a sad night when one of your friend texts you that she's going on a date with someone you know and then invites you to maybe have a drink after
I deleted all traces of him from my phone
even the dick picks he sent you?
no are you nuts? saved that shit to my camera roll
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
Maybe you should slow down tonight...
KINGS DON'T NEED ADVICE FROM LITTLE HORN-BILLS FOR A START
Randomize
