You wanna call me after your homoerotic shower?
You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
You told the cops that they couldn't arrest you because they weren't hot enough to fuck
I was trying not to text you this weekend, so I deleted your number when I was sober. Then auto restore at midnight. It was like drunk magic
He was taking the condom off and he turns to me and says, "You know how snakes can shed their skin?"
Apparently you missed the drunkest me ever documented. I slept on the hardwood floor and left my pants on the porch to give u a frame of reference.
Just to update you. I am dead. So your probably gonna have to find a new roommate
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
so my pro life roomate found a used condom wrapped up in her sheets with your panties. never letting you have sex in her bed again
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
Randomize
