I think I am morally bankrupt
If they made snuggies with a sleeve for my morning wood, id consider buying one...
he left me a 6 minute video of him peeling a clementine listening to justin bieber
CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
Then you're three pancakes deep in regret.
So I got this new job… ever been fucked in a corner office before?
The Vicodin is in the strawberries.
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
I woke up on a different floor than I went to sleep on. Can't find my shoes.
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
What the fuck were you guys talking about?
Lube wrestling.
Oh, makes sense.
Randomize
