Do you think this abandoned cigarette has herpes? cuz I'm tempted.
Banging your ex-girlfriends best friend 3 days after you break up is like saying "fuck you" with feeling. I wouldnt have it any other way.
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
Sorry for eating those cheese fries out of your hands last night
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
You were dancing to the Bee Gees, at 3am, with a piece of ham on your head. Moral of the story, You can't drink.
The true debate: do I prioritize going to bed and getting more than six hours of sleep or do I prioritize washing out various grease, leaf bits, and jizz out of my hair
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
Randomize
