Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
She tied me up with her honor cords...
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.
He straight up just had me drive all the way here and when I got here he was drinking a cup of tea and right after said he needed to go to bed
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
Should I be concerned you put your last name in my phone as "danger"?
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
Me and some girl at the bar just high fived for not wearing bras
It's 4:30 AM and I just walked through a line of 10 deer without them freaking out. I am the campus deer king.
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
Randomize
