Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
sober me hid the cigs from drunk me. sober me is a tricky bitch.
So apparently we dropped beers outside the apartment last night, and someone RETURNED them! Ha like what? I just walked out the front door to Christmas in a box on my doorstep.
well I was pissed. first he yelled at me for having my own condoms, then he got mad when they didn't fit him. Dude, I only fuck magnum men.
My hair is short now so it will be easier to give you alot more blow jobs
I'm going to take this text and frame it on my mantle
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
I told you, I'm taking a sledgehammer to your walls. Fuck your walls.
I'm Batman.
When the strippers start dancing to Christmas songs it's time to get the fuck out!
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
Just had to break it to that one guy that I can't sleep w him bc he looks identical to my brother. So how's your morning?
I made out with the hosts' boyfriend, infront of her, drank way too much, slept in my car and convinced everyone that I'm really a nice person. If that's not skilled lying, I don't know what is.
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
Randomize
