sorry i interrupted the heart to heart you were having with your bathrobe last night
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
The shit show didn't end. it just relocated itself to my apartment instead of yours.
you also need to get my treadmill fixed.
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
My dad just told me I can't passout in the driveway after the 4th of July parade this year, again
I don't care how hot she is, her cat has pissed on me twice.
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
Ew. He is mine. We all know that if he has a mid-life crisis and decides to sleep with a student, I AM THAT STUDENT. She's not friends with him on FB. Reassuring.
He said he loves me but he haven't eaten me out yet. So I don't think he means it.
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
Did you pee in the oven last night??
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