I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
He woke up, got my bottle of water and poured it on me and then went back to sleep. Not really how I want to wake up at 2 a.m.
Any time you can't remember a night, and you wake up in a sorority house, it's fucking worth it.
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
my vag sweat smells like doritos
so now that we're not dating you have to stop sending shit like this to me okay?
So how'd the job interview go?
well turns out the guy interviewing me was a regular at the strip club where i used to work. Talk about awkward
We used to bone, but now she's my life coach.
He was licking my ear while recommending that I shop at IKEA. I think he's my perfect guy.
I have sent texts to the pizza delivery guy telling him he was beautiful. Oh and you almost got a ticket for pissing in public. And I smell like cheese.
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
Rich men love me! I remind them of their trophy wife!!!
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